Image by Aneris Photography
I suppose I should state a disclaimer to inform you that I am by no means a doctor, therapist or minister. I identify myself as a creative of faith. This story, my story will not be for everyone but I know it will reach those that need to be pulled out. If this is you, know that if you believe, God can and will. Today you are coming out and crossing over into your days of victory. You will be who God created you to be.
Growth
Published July 20, 2022
Growth sometimes can make you think you’re ready for what’s next however it’s just simply preparing you before it’s time to execute. We have to be careful to not be hasty during seasons of growth. Be patient, adjust your position and stay in position so you actually know when it’s time.
Intentional
Published June 15, 2022
Moving with intention has been my top priority when approaching healthier lifestyle of mine. Whether it’s eating, drinking or investing my energy into something it must add value to my future self.
Starting this healthy journey again was not easy. In fact I struggled so bad and still have some moments but this time around there’s this deep desire within that will not let me give up. When I found out I was pregnant, God began to deal with me about taking meat and dairy out of my diet. I did good for a while but there were definitely some struggle moments along the way. I remember the night when it all just clicked for me. The bad eating habits kicked back in and I was so ashamed. I remember praying that night and asking God to just lead me in the right direction because I knew this was a lifestyle He intended on us to live so that we can do what we’ve been created to do in good health. Mind, body, soul and spirit. No lie…I said that prayer and immediately was led to do a google search and came across a blog by Julius Goodwin III and it confirmed so many things for me. Our stories were very similar and the added bonus is he presented a wealth of knowledge and products(tried and true) for me to get back aligned. Today I’m happy to call him my friend and so excited about the expansion of his God driven brand. God is intentional about me so I too will be intentional with every move I make for me and those connected to me.
Starting this healthy journey again was not easy. In fact I struggled so bad and still have some moments but this time around there’s this deep desire within that will not let me give up. When I found out I was pregnant, God began to deal with me about taking meat and dairy out of my diet. I did good for a while but there were definitely some struggle moments along the way. I remember the night when it all just clicked for me. The bad eating habits kicked back in and I was so ashamed. I remember praying that night and asking God to just lead me in the right direction because I knew this was a lifestyle He intended on us to live so that we can do what we’ve been created to do in good health. Mind, body, soul and spirit. No lie…I said that prayer and immediately was led to do a google search and came across a blog by Julius Goodwin III and it confirmed so many things for me. Our stories were very similar and the added bonus is he presented a wealth of knowledge and products(tried and true) for me to get back aligned. Today I’m happy to call him my friend and so excited about the expansion of his God driven brand. God is intentional about me so I too will be intentional with every move I make for me and those connected to me.
Patience
Published June 8, 2022
So far this year I’m learning that patience is my most important weapon. The past 3 months have been a whirlwind. Filled with so much adventure, pressure and tests. Patience has strengthened my faith. It has allowed me to be present and truly enjoy the journey. It has allowed me to focus on areas I need to develop and nurture. Most importantly it has allowed me to fix my posture of worship while I wait. Being hasty can lead you into panic when you just need to be patient.
Plant update: I’m down to 5 plants now 😩 3 of my plant babies are no longer with us. When having plants, patience is teaching me to be very thorough in my approach to caring for them. I’m a little behind schedule but I’ll be repotting soon and adding my clippings to soil 🤗 Stay tuned for the update.
Plant update: I’m down to 5 plants now 😩 3 of my plant babies are no longer with us. When having plants, patience is teaching me to be very thorough in my approach to caring for them. I’m a little behind schedule but I’ll be repotting soon and adding my clippings to soil 🤗 Stay tuned for the update.
Accept The Challenge
Published January 25, 2022
Never have I ever thought a day would come when I would start eating 100% raw plant based dishes. I’m so in love 🤤
Recently I challenged myself to turn it up a notch. A little over 4 years ago I started my journey to intentionally live a healthy and whole life. The goal was to begin consuming plant rich foods, herbs and minerals my body needed as well as be more active. In return, this journey has strengthened me spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally. Has it been easy? Not at all but I wouldn’t change a thing about the process. It has molded me and continues to mold me. I’m proud of me and I’m looking forward to seeing my continued growth.
When’s the last time you reflected on how far you’ve come?
Never have I ever thought a day would come when I would start eating 100% raw plant based dishes. I’m so in love 🤤
Recently I challenged myself to turn it up a notch. A little over 4 years ago I started my journey to intentionally live a healthy and whole life. The goal was to begin consuming plant rich foods, herbs and minerals my body needed as well as be more active. In return, this journey has strengthened me spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally. Has it been easy? Not at all but I wouldn’t change a thing about the process. It has molded me and continues to mold me. I’m proud of me and I’m looking forward to seeing my continued growth.
When’s the last time you reflected on how far you’ve come?
Alignment
Published January 11, 2022
Alignment is simply walking away from what you thought was best for you in order to walk into God’s best for you. Walking away isn’t always easy however, it’s worth it. God has bigger for you. Walk away. There is so much beauty in repentance.
Adjust
Published December 27, 2021
This morning did not go as planned. The plan was to get up at 4am and get some work done while my son was sleeping. Guess who was up at 3:30am like it was 3:30pm?!?! Yep, my son. Eventually I got him to go back to sleep…2 hours later. During that time the feeling of defeat tried to creep in but I refused to allow it. Today is and will be a productive day for me.
Life is not going to always go as we planned it to go. Obstacles will come but you have to be determined to push through. Look for the opportunities in the obstacles. Don’t let unexpected events shake you, just adjust and find your rhythm again. I must say through parenthood, God has definitely taught me the beauty in adjusting when everything around you seems to be going a way you never expected.
Life is not going to always go as we planned it to go. Obstacles will come but you have to be determined to push through. Look for the opportunities in the obstacles. Don’t let unexpected events shake you, just adjust and find your rhythm again. I must say through parenthood, God has definitely taught me the beauty in adjusting when everything around you seems to be going a way you never expected.
Enjoy The Journey
Published December 23, 2021
I recently discovered that I’ve been so focused on the outcome of things that it’s caused me to ignore the beauty of the journey. Lately I’ve been very hard on myself but God reminded me that the best version of me is already present.
There will be good days along with some challenging days, however through it all I will apply what I learn, remain consistent, detach myself from the outcome and enjoy the journey.
There will be good days along with some challenging days, however through it all I will apply what I learn, remain consistent, detach myself from the outcome and enjoy the journey.
A little goes a long way
Published November 7, 2021
Lately I’ve been taking time out to clean my greens and storing them in a container layered by paper towel. This has added an extra week or 2 of life for them. 10 minutes of my time added 2 to 3 weeks of supply compared to the one week I’ll get just placing it in the fridge. I can’t help but think about what are some other things I can spend 10 minutes doing to add longevity 🤔
Do something today the adds value to your future 🌻
Lately I’ve been taking time out to clean my greens and storing them in a container layered by paper towel. This has added an extra week or 2 of life for them. 10 minutes of my time added 2 to 3 weeks of supply compared to the one week I’ll get just placing it in the fridge. I can’t help but think about what are some other things I can spend 10 minutes doing to add longevity 🤔
Do something today the adds value to your future 🌻
Embrace Change
Published October 30, 2021
This month 10 years ago, my company Your World On Film was just a dream. Fast forward to now, it’s my reality. I get to wake up every day doing what I love and it’s a beautiful experience. Lately I’ve been thinking what if I would’ve moved sooner instead of being fearful and creating limits. We’re human. I get it. Change is scary and fear of the unknown is a monster. However, the older I get the more I realize how valuable my time is here and if I really want to honor God, I must be proactive, courageous and bold to be a good steward over the time and gifts inside of me to serve those around me.
Someone who needs your gift is waiting on you to get it together. So get it together. Everything is working out for your good and you have everything you need in the moment it’s needed. Whatever dreams you have keeping you up at night, go after them. You’re here for a reason. Just start and grow as you go. Focus on progression, not perfection. The path has been set. Be patient, trust the process and stay focused.
Someone who needs your gift is waiting on you to get it together. So get it together. Everything is working out for your good and you have everything you need in the moment it’s needed. Whatever dreams you have keeping you up at night, go after them. You’re here for a reason. Just start and grow as you go. Focus on progression, not perfection. The path has been set. Be patient, trust the process and stay focused.
Get Back Up
Published August 24, 2021
Today was day 2 from being back in the gym. It’s been about a month 🥴 and it’s been rough getting back on my routine however I’m excited to be 🗣BACK AT IT AGAAAAAAAIN!! By now I had hope to reach my goal. I was beating myself up about it. Disappointed at how I slacked off AGAIN but what really matters is that I realized that I had to get back on track.
Many times we put a lot of energy on what happened and not what is happening. The moment I made a decision to do better, that is what’s happening. That’s what matters and that’s where I need to put my energy. I can’t focus on being perfect. I must focus on actively progressing towards my goal.
Being able to identify weak moments is actually a good thing. In that moment we just have to be upfront with ourselves about how we got to that point, develop a plan for progression, go to work and as always, give ourselves some grace. This is how we get stronger.
One of my goals is to actively work towards maintaining a healthy and fit lifestyle. What’s a goal you walked away from? It’s time to get back on it.
Many times we put a lot of energy on what happened and not what is happening. The moment I made a decision to do better, that is what’s happening. That’s what matters and that’s where I need to put my energy. I can’t focus on being perfect. I must focus on actively progressing towards my goal.
Being able to identify weak moments is actually a good thing. In that moment we just have to be upfront with ourselves about how we got to that point, develop a plan for progression, go to work and as always, give ourselves some grace. This is how we get stronger.
One of my goals is to actively work towards maintaining a healthy and fit lifestyle. What’s a goal you walked away from? It’s time to get back on it.
Just Breathe
Published July 12, 2021
Someone once told me that many of us are going about our every day life just sipping on air. We rarely make time to just slow down and take the deep breaths our body needs.
The last 3 months were exciting but if I were to be completely honest, I was also getting overwhelmed with everything I know needs to get done so that I continue to grow and succeed.
Today I’m reminded to just breathe. In every aspect of my life, the Most High provides and I just have to continue allow His Holy Spirit to lead and guide me along this path. Most importantly these new doors require more time with my creator.
I pray today that you allow Holy Spirit to lead and guide you on the path that was already created for you so you walk into everything you need and so much more. Peace 🌻
The last 3 months were exciting but if I were to be completely honest, I was also getting overwhelmed with everything I know needs to get done so that I continue to grow and succeed.
Today I’m reminded to just breathe. In every aspect of my life, the Most High provides and I just have to continue allow His Holy Spirit to lead and guide me along this path. Most importantly these new doors require more time with my creator.
I pray today that you allow Holy Spirit to lead and guide you on the path that was already created for you so you walk into everything you need and so much more. Peace 🌻
Light
Published June 2, 2021
Last year I became a plant mom and it’s been the most refreshing journey ever. Caring for these plants keep me in check on how I’m caring for myself. Learning how to care for them helped me learn how to love and care for me.
I get it! Life happens and sometimes we can forget how delicate we are. Always remember to handle yourself with care.
I get it! Life happens and sometimes we can forget how delicate we are. Always remember to handle yourself with care.
Exposure
Published May 10, 2021
“Hey Google… play Feels Good by Tony! Toni! Toné!"
This weekend I walked into 34 years of life…and it feels so good. Now picture me doing the running man…. LOL! But for real, I can’t help but express how good I feel this time around. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. For so long I settled with masking hurt, uncertainty and disappointment. Looking strong on the outside but I was so broken on the inside. Oh and I was so hard on myself. Trying to keep up with what I thought others expected of me. I thank God for healing and how He’s making me whole. In this moment I’m so free. Free to be unapologetically me. I’m not perfect and I don’t strive to be. I’m focused on progression and growing into who I was created to be. I saw a meme the other day that said, “little me would think the grown up version of me is sooo dope” and I believe that to be true. I’m SOOOOO DOPE!
Walking into this week, I can't help but acknowledge that today marks year 1 since I’ve decided to abstain from sex. I’ve done it before but always caved in at some point. This time around I connected purpose to my decision and although there’s been some challenges, I’ve been able to stay strong and I'm getting stronger. Since making that decision, I’ve been able to see where God desired me to strive for purity in every area of my life. It wasn’t just about sex. It was all about being intentional and mindful of what and who I was allowing myself to be connected to. Making that decision now has me checking myself on what I say and think, who I allow in my space and I’m even working on how I eat and keep my body in shape. Being mindful helps me position my heart to receive what I need. I'm also practicing stewardship by making sure my mind, body and soul are equipped to do what I've been created to do. Change doesn’t happen over night but I’m committed to progression and celebrating wins, both big and small. I’m gentle with me. Giving myself grace just as God gives me.
I say all of that to say that life is so good when you’re connected to God. Every day won’t be easy but as long as you’re aligned with God’s will for your life, you’ll always recognize the opportunities in the obstacles you face. Dwell in the secret place of the Most High(Psalm 91), commit to your healing, set boundaries, be kind to your mind and LIVE. Starving your flesh and feeding your spirit is literally the ultimate form of self love.
Thank you for taking time out as I share a piece of me and tell my business lol. Until next time...Peace.
Composition
Published December 21, 2020
Mentally and spiritually I’ve been in 2021 since October of this year. This has allowed me to physically prepare for what’s to come. In order for me to live out my purpose and continue to grow and glow, I must move different.
At the beginning of the year I kept hearing responsibility. Hearing that, led me to confronting issues and really healing. Committing to healing has led me to connections and strategy. I’ve done a lot of running and gunning not only since starting the business but in my personal life and that has caused me to be so overwhelmed. Limiting my ability to be who I was created to be. I wasn’t giving God anything to work with. I just had cool ideas and I was all over the place. I remember seeing glimpses of what my business was going to be like but It wasn’t until I started really writing my vision down when I started seeing the bigger picture. Even then I still didn’t do enough.
Prayer wasn’t a priority so I either missed or sabotage opportunities provided. The moment I started praying more, I was able to plan. Through my plans, God gave me direction. As I’m growing stronger in prayer, I now see where God provides discernment and it’s a beautiful thing. I honestly don’t know how I was doing life without God. Like I was legit out here living life recklessly. Just wandering and doing life on my own terms and dealing with God “religiously”. What was I thinking?!?! But wait! Even in in my ignorance, God was there, bailing me out every time and waiting for me to just align. That line alone is a blog on its on but we’re going to stay the course for today’s topic.
In the presence of God is where I chose to stay. In God’s presence I have everything I need and I am led to everything and everyone I need to be connected with. I believe when we adjust our heart’s posture to get in position, we receive everything God has for us. Faith without works is dead...Get to work!
Noise
Published June 10, 2020
Okay, story time!!! Right before the new year, a friend of mine requested that I begin reminding him to pray because he needed to pray more. I was like bet, say no more, I got you! Not knowing that I would soon be checked and have to ask myself …”yo, are you praying like you need to be?” My answer was no. I had gotten to a place where I was praying on the go. Not setting any time aside. Basically squeezing time in to pray. Great things were happening but how could I not be seeking God for the wisdom and guidance I needed daily on how to navigate through the doors He opened for me as well as the life He has been preparing me to enjoy…how could I be so reckless. Was I really being a good steward over my blessings and opportunities? I had to tighten up real quick! One thing about God is that He’s going to always do His part but the major key is that we have to do our part in order to stay aligned. Cultivating a relationship with God keeps you grounded. Prayer stimulates that relationship. Prayer keeps us connected to God. Prayer keeps us strong. Prayer keeps us prepared. Shortly after I got myself together, I started to plan time to spend with God in prayer, read devotions, meditate on scriptures and immediately apply what I was reading to my life. I’m not going to lie, this was so hard. What helped most was reading devotions. Definitely devotions that were relatable(the Bible App is the plug). Then it started to get better. I started to get hungry for more. Soon I was hearing what I needed to be praying about even who I needed to be praying for. Not only was my prayer life getting stronger, but my faith was strengthening.
Right before the stay at home order was issued, I literally felt peace takeover. I remember waiting for a big invoice to be paid that was already past due and on top of that, 3 checks I was expecting to receive got mailed to the wrong address and sent right back to New York. What amazes me is that I never got upset nor did I panic. I just started to tell myself, God will provide. That’s been my mantra ever since. God will provide. It wasn’t until in the middle of the pandemic I realized that getting my prayer life together prepared me for what was happening around me. During time in quarantine, me and my son did not lack. We had everything we needed and so much more. I even secured new projects and discovered new gifts inside of me. I was able to create memories with my son as well as focus and plan for my business. God was and still is providing.
Fast forward to what’s happening in the world today, my mantra still is God will provide. Trust me, I have my moments, I still sulk a time or two but because I made prayer a part of my life, I was able to position myself in prayer and hear what I needed to hear. During these times we must pray for peace and discernment so we stay calm and hear how to navigate through all that is going on around us. We must pray for courage and strength so we stand up for what is righteous and keep pushing. We cannot react off our emotions. We must move with wisdom and continue to trust that God will provide. We were created to create. Today let us create opportunities to spread love, promote peace and build others up.
Shine Bright!
Bounce
Published October 16, 2019
About a month ago I posted this picture(posted above) in my stories and told you guys to standby for the story behind it..well here it is...
It’s a letter I received along with a gift from my friend Serena. It was a wonderful surprise and just what I needed. Although she sent it to motivate me on my new health and wellness journey, it motivated me all around. In my last blog I mentioned how some new opportunities came my way and how they were amazing and exciting however, I was also experiencing some challenges staying above water. The struggle was oh so real. I felt like it was all just piling up on me and that maybe I wasn’t suppose to take on the new endeavors that were coming my way. I was feeling down and it was affecting me bad. I found myself getting frustrated. I was entertaining the thought of going back to a 9 to 5 thinking this was how life was going to be from now on as an entrepreneur…booked, busy and bent out of shape. I was so thankful for the amazing clients I had. They knew how busy I had become and supported my new endeavors however, I still felt like I was letting them down. When I received that note, it gave me the hope I needed and I realized that this moment was just another opportunity for God to be glorified. His grace got me this far so why would He leave me hanging, right?!
A few days later I got the clarity I needed for my situation while reading my devotion. (Exodus 16) It was about Moses leading the children of Israel to the promise land. They were finally free but that wasn’t enough for them. Even though in Egypt they were enslaved, they had access to so much food and didn’t have to worry about where it was coming from. They also found comfort in slavery knowing that they had a place to stay. On the road to the promise land God tested them. They had no clue where they were going and God only provided just enough for the day each day and instead of being thankful and realize that God has not only freed them but is providing along the way. God was pretty much saying I got y’all, just trust me. Look how far I’ve brought you. All He needed them to do was change their corrupted mindset to prepare for life in the promise land. All they had to do was Trust God but they wanted to go back to Egypt where it was comfortable. In the middle of me reading all of this, all I heard was, “what are you doing with what I already provided?” OUCH!!!! I then begin to see how I was just like them. This year God has tremendously blessed me and put me in the company of major brands and many others with a wealth of knowledge for entrepreneurship. My monthly revenue increased and I was finally getting the work i wanted however i became overwhelmed. I allowed fear to grip me and wanted to settle and go back to a 9 to 5 where I would be miserably comfortable. And there is nothing wrong with a 9 to 5, that’s just not me. That day, I knew that I had to release fear, doubt and everything else holding me back from going into this next level God was preparing me for. There was work I needed to do naturally in order to receive all that God has for me. I realized that expansion comes with the need for discipline. In order for me to physically see change, my mindset needed to change.
There are behaviors that must go as you grow for you to be the best version of yourself. We have to renew our minds daily. Detox from everything that does not serve you and begin to replenish your mind, body and soul with everything that adds to your growth. This keeps your spirit aligned and as a result you will become who God created you to be.
What are you doing with what God has already provided?
Reflect
Published August 8, 2019
It’s been a while and it feels so good to be sharing a little piece of me with you again. Today I’m reflecting. Its throwback Thursday right?! So let’s go!!!
It’s amazing what can happen in one year. Last year I was literally ready to throw in the towel. I was so ready to give in, go back to a 9 to 5 and just be the best mom I can be. Fast forward to this year, I must say I’m doing more than I ever thought I would be doing as a mom and creative. This weekend, I became overwhelm with emotion just thinking about how far I’ve come in just a little time frame. There’s still so much ground I need to cover but I’m thankful to God that I’m not where I used to me. I’m in a better space spiritually, mentally, physically and financially.
Now let’s rewind back to last year. Like I said, I was ready to throw in the towel. My previous post shares a little bit of what I was facing. I was facing so many things that was taking my focus off of what really mattered and what mattered at the time is that I needed get focused and gain clarity of what I really wanted for me and my son. And y’all already know I’m spiritual so be ready. After dealing with this for so long, crying and complaining, I remember talking with my best friend and she was sharing with me some challenges she was facing however at the end of her rant, she said that she had to step away from her situation and talk to God. While talking to God she just straight up said, "look God, I just need to hear you over everything that’s going on." Y’all!! The way that helped me!! I immediately knew that I had to stop the crying, I had to stop the complaining. I was allowing my situation to be louder than God’s voice. Since that day, my prayer has been, "God allow me to hear you over all the noise."
Change didn’t happen over night. We all know when change is among us, those negative thoughts begin to surface but I fought to renew my mind. I fought to change my thought process. I began to focus on what I wanted to see, I started ignoring doubt, fear and taunting insecurities. Reading God’s word and saying affirmations daily was a must. Doing all of this allowed me to hear God and see the opportunities that were created for me to have. One year later I’ve went from being depressed and job hunting to being booked not only on the weekends but during the week as well. One of my goals was to begin freelancing for magazine companies and within that same month I spoke it, I began freelancing for Essence Magazine...ESSENCE MAGAZINE!!! I'm still lost for words on this one. I also spoke that I wanted to travel and capture stories, film weddings and create content for brands. I’m doing that as well. I spoke what I wanted and began to see how to get there. So now that I’ve spoke these things into existence and God has made a way for me, I now have to be a good steward over what has been provided. It’s an amazing experience but the challenges have been intense and I’m thankful for what they are preparing me for. All I’m gong to say is be on the look out for blog post about that.
Listen, I’m no expert. I’m experiencing life just like you but I believe we were all put here to help one another get through the challenges of life so we should always be eager to share our stories. It’s definitely therapeutic but you never know who just may need to hear how you got over your hurdle. I thank God for my best friend’s strength to be vulnerable and tell me what she was facing. Through her story, I was able to get over my hurdle and continue run after my dreams like never before.
Calibrate
Published April 24, 2019
Coming off a much needed hiatus and I'm glad to be back in the swing of things. Thank you for being patient with me. I really appreciate you all that have commented on posts and reached out through email as well as direct messages. I didn't realize how much I missed writing until sitting in my car one night. I usually just sit in the car and think but this time I wrote down my thoughts and I got a little creative. I’m planning to post a video on what I came up with so stay tuned for that one.
Back on track to what's on my heart for this post though. I had no clue that my first two blog posts were actually my release to position me not only for the purpose of my blog but aligning me for my purpose on this earth in general. At the time when those posts were written, I was experiencing so many things. The aftermath of a failed relationship, challenges being a new mom while building a business along with trying to overcome bad habits. I just wanted to develop in so many areas and I wanted to do so many things differently but I felt so stuck. Writing helped me face the things I needed to face in order to move forward. It helped me be honest and open with myself. I was so good at harboring so much inside and walking around like everything was good but It really wasn’t and I was getting exhausted in every way possible. I knew if I really wanted the best for my son, I had to get better. It was a must so I decided to share my story.
Sharing my story instantly caused me to be concerned about what others may be facing. Others just like me. I am a creative that once lost hope. I was at my lowest and did not see a way out. I was so close to just settling and giving up on my dreams. The bounce back did not happen over night. There is so much I need to accomplish and I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone. I’m here to push you and we will grow through what we are going through. The first step is taking the focus off what was done to you and focus on how to move forward. Visualize where you want to be and strategize how to get there. You’ve got this! You’re much stronger than you think.
Manual Mode
Published August 9, 2018
I would be lying if I told you that it hasn't been challenging trying to complete this blog post. Every time I went to write, I began to discover areas I still needed healing in. How I knew this because no matter how I wrote it, I ended up writing how I was treated and I began sharing memories that were still haunting me. Listen, I wanted y’all to feel my pain and understand what I went through but I knew deep down inside I could not post something like that. In order to overcome the torment, the hurt, the pain, the depression along with so many other things, I decided that I will no longer glorify my mistakes along with anyone who has mistreated me. I was reminded of my decision to move forward and how I needed to put action to those words. It’s impossible to move forward if you’re still stuck in the past.
Today, know that what has caused you hurt and pain along with any mistakes you have made does not define who you are. You are not your past. Your worth is more than you could ever imagine and you are so valuable. I’m here to tell you that moving forward is possible and it is necessary. Once I stopped focusing on the bad and started focusing on the opportunities God was presenting, things got so much better. I now refuse to live out the negative thoughts my past produced. Do I still have some bad days? Yes! Is it hard. Yes! But I understand and know with God, all things are possible. He is my strength, my helper and most of all, my healer. My heart is healing you guys and it feels so good. Happiness is all around us. You just have to choose to be happy and go to work. You got this! You are much stronger than you think.
"Change begins when you organize"
REFOCUS
Published June 20, 2018
Yesterday I reached a breaking point. I felt as if there was so much not only just piling up on me but pulling on me. How I realized this was in the middle of talking to a client, I broke down into tears. I’m talking boo hoo crying. How unprofessional right?! But as I’m writing this, all I can think about is how thankful I was for that breakdown and for the client who was not quick to judge me but he immediately encouraged me. That moment reminded me of my freedom and how I was allowing the barriers I’ve built in my mind limit my ability to become so much more, to do so much more. From the outside looking in, it appeared as if I was doing so much but truth be told, I spent more time dwelling on my situation. How could I really provide for my son on my own as a full time entrepreneur? Could I realistically accomplish the dreams I once dreamt about? Why me?! ...and the list goes on. I think the question “why me?!” ran through my mind at least 3 times a day. I remember one night during a usual breakdown, I said out loud, “I didn’t sign up to be a single mother.” Clear as day, God clapped back and was like, “I didn’t tell you to lay down and have sex but despite you conceiving your son in a broken situation, I still created an opportunity for you to come out on top.” Ya’ll....the way my jaw dropped. Then not many days after that my Pastor without me telling him any of my situation, calls me and says, “God says it’s not what it seems, just move forward. Stop trying to figure it out and why things turned out the way they did.” That was about 4 months ago so between then and now, if I were to be honest, I’ve had great days and I have had the most challenging days one could even imagine but today more than ever I know and realize God has not forgotten about me. In fact, He’s making it His business to let me know how much I am loved and what He is ready to do for me. I just need to believe, let go and let Him do what He says He’s going to do. I would be lying if I told you it hasn’t been a struggle to just let go but I can't help but think, why would I do my son an injustice by not living a lifestyle before his eyes depending on the creator who created me because clearly He would know how to lead the way. I’ve been placed on this earth to produce no matter the situation and as long as I trust the true power of God, life is limitless.
Today I have committed to trusting God and trusting His power. The moment I made that commitment, clarity began to take place, I started remembering great business ideas and wisdom started flowing through the mouths of others. Now it’s my responsibility to get to work and use the wisdom and resources my source(God) has given me and continue to trust that I’ll be lead and guided every step of the way. I recognize that a process is taking place and I’m on a journey. Before your eyes you will see my testimony revealed. Will you go with me?